my face is like stone

I decided to start over with this blog shit. I read over the past blogs, and Ive realized how depressed I have been and how I was easily hurt. I decided to make some changes in my life though, not just writing about it and not doing a single thing to make it work.

I am making changes. Some bigger than others and some worse than others, but not towards me. I am doing this to help myself, be happier and enjoy life more. I'm sick of being so sad, it's just not me, it has never been me so I really don't know what I have turned into.

Also, another change I am making is being 100% brutally honest. No matter who the person/what the situation I am going to tell you the straight up truth. You can take it or leave it/ love me or hate me, but this is how I honestly feel and it makes me feel worse when I hold it in. I'd rather have someone hate me for who I really am than love me for who I'm not. So there ya go, I'm only human.

And again, I'm maintaining positivity. I miss who I used to be. I used to be so optimistic and so careless, but I have turned into something else. I'm filled with bitterness and anger all the time, and it's a horrible feeling. Ive lost many friends during this, but it has showed me who will really stay by my side and who was just 'talk'. I havent lost my faith. I will and always strongly believe in God and what he is doing for me. From now on He will be the one choosing the way my life goes. I have given up and this is all too much for me. I trust that my life is better in His hands, whatever the outcome, it's for the best.




Oh and this is probably completely out of topic BUT ok:
I came in late today so as soon as I got to my first period, my spanish teacher was all like:
"OK JOSELY. Since you just walked in you're taking the written part of the exam!"
and I'm all like "hey, fuck you" (but not really)
So I moan and walk to the front of the class, but stupido forgot that she was practicing the oral with other people right in front of me..
So I look up to see two people trying to talk to me in sign language or some shit,
and I'm all like "wtf are you doing?"
and I didn't realize that they were telling me to copy down what they were practicing right in front of me..
So I turn around to see the bitch glaring at me, I smile, and copy down everything
and guess what: I got an A! hahhaha, but that wasnt my story
my story was I was in spanish class trying to concentrate on work, you know me, all organized and responsible
I'm sitting in class when the devil walks up to me..
"did you know that dogs bark in spanish too?!!"
"no..."
"oh well they do, they bark like WAU WAUU!"
and I seriously died. The end